Relational Graces

The relational graces play a tremendous role in our personal discipleship process. Jesus Christ is extremely personal in discipling you and me. My wife and I were blessed with three children—boy, girl, boy. All three are distinctly different in their personality and wiring. As their parents, there was no way we could impose a cookie-cutter approach to child-rearing on all three and expect them to respond alike. We had to craft an approach for each that played to their personality and situation. This approach is not merely pragmatic, but also the loving thing to do.

Jesus works with each of us in unique ways to bring us closer to himself and transform us into followers who exhibit his character. So when it comes to the relational graces, you will no doubt employ them in slightly different ways than I would. You may also find that you employ one or more of the relational graces to a greater extent than some of the others and that emphasis may change over time. Remember, the goal is not mastery of relational graces, but deeper relationship with Christ.

The relational graces are symbiotic in their connection with each other. For instance, my study of the Word may lead me to prayer, repentance and the need to forgive a brother. My act of forgiving that brother may then launch me into worship, praise and thanksgiving to God. In a similar way, in my spiritual partnership with a brother, his example may lead me to patiently endure suffering and practice simplicity. This in turn may move me to prayer and solitude in which God reveals to me acts of service he wants to bestow on others through me. All the while, I’m getting to know Christ better, my life is becoming more singly devoted to him and I’m interacting with his kids in ways that please and glorify him. All this brings me (and others) abundant joy in him!

When Jesus was tempted by the devil in the wilderness, he followed the Holy Spirit’s leading, he prayed, he used and probably meditated on Scripture, he practiced solitude, he fasted and he endured trials patiently. Jesus employed all of these relational graces in concert as he drew near his Father in that experience.

Relational graces help us get to know Christ better and grow in his character—becoming more and more like him. Through practicing relational graces our thoughts change to think rightly about God and interact with him accordingly. As we draw near him through the relational graces, we become more focused and more enthralled with him and who he is. But we also begin to see others as God sees them. We see them in terms of our relationship with them through Christ and we begin to interact with them in a Christlike manner.

I don’t know of an exhaustive list of the relational graces (or spiritual disciplines). But over the next couple weeks I’d like to discuss the following relational graces: repentance, forgiveness, worship, spending time in God’s Word, personal prayer, solitude, simplicity, fasting, patient endurance of suffering, rest, corporate prayer, service and hospitality, spiritual partnership and giving.

© Rob Fischer 2008