Meeting with Your Spiritual Partner

quest-7-4As I mentioned in The Quest, when I first began meeting with a spiritual partner neither of us had any idea what that would look like or how to proceed. Here’s what we did and what I’ve found to work well over the past seven years. And remember, men meet with men, women with women.


Begin by being very clear about why you’re partnering together. Verbalize with each other that you are establishing this relationship in order to “sharpen” each other (Proverbs 27:17) and “spur” each other in becoming more Christlike (Hebrews 10:24).


With the above in mind, agree to always be open and honest with each other. Be transparent with each other and trust each other in confidence that what you share will not go any further. Leave no area of your life untouched or hidden from each other. This is vital to your spiritual growth and is at the core of why we need spiritual partners.


In your initial meetings, just get to know each other. Share your life stories and practice good listening skills. Find out how your spiritual partner came to Christ; what his/her childhood was like; their career; relationships, etc. From the start always pray for each other. If your spiritual partner shares an immediate need, stop and pray for him/her on the spot.


As you continue to meet, be sure to spend time together in real life. Give each other permission to speak into one another’s lives and to ask tough questions. By tough questions, I mean questions like:

  • If you could pinpoint anything in your life right now that is stealing your joy in Christ what would it be?
  • What is God doing in your life right now?
  • What has God been revealing to you about him from his Word?
  • What habit, thought pattern or sin in your life is “eating your lunch?”
  • How’s your relationship with your spouse?
  • What can I pray with you about?

When you ask questions like that, be prepared to be shocked sometimes with what your spiritual partner will share—but don’t act shocked! Stand by him/her and pray with them. Always pray for each other!


Keep up with each other on what is going on in your various relationships and aspects of life. Always, pray with and for each other. Expect God to work in powerful ways in your lives and celebrate it when he does. And speaking of celebration, remember to celebrate what God is doing in each other’s lives as you trust him to change you.


©2009 Rob Fischer