Heap Of Stones » Spiritual Partnership

Spiritual Inversion

Rob — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 16:39:54 +0000

Every fall in the Northwest we experience a weather pattern called an “inversion”. An inversion weather pattern creates overcast and foggy conditions in the valleys making it cold, damp and dismal. The valleys and low areas are where most people live and work, so they’re often oblivious to the fact that the depressing weather they’re experiencing is localized. Sometimes an inversion will go on for days and can feel very oppressive. But travel a couple thousand feet higher in elevation during an inversion and you’ll burst out of the fog and dampness into warm, dry sunny skies! Not only is the sunshine revitalizing, but the view from above the clouds provides a bigger perspective on life.

All of us from time to time experience an “inversion” in our spiritual lives as well. We seem to get buried under the clouds of our daily grind. We forget the sunshine of God’s grace and presence and feel oppressed by trials and hardship. If relationships around us have grown cold our discomfort deepens and we may become joyless, sad and even depressed.

When we begin to feel a spiritual inversion coming on, the worst thing we can do is isolate in the valley and dark corners of our existence! And yet that is precisely what we are prone to do. Instead, climb above the oppressive spiritual fog and expose yourself to the warmth of God’s presence and love. There are several ways we can do this.

If you find yourself slipping into or immersed in a spiritual inversion, spend time in God’s Word—lots of it. Devour it like you would a favorite novel. Let his Word warm your soul and lift you up. Spend time in the Psalms or the Gospels. Rehearse the promises of God from great chapters like Romans 8 or Hebrews 11. Go to God’s Word to meet with him. “I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.” (Psalm 121:1-2)

Another method for climbing out of the fog and dampness of spiritual inversion is to spend time talking to God, thanking him and praising him for his goodness and faithfulness. In the face of trials and even the humdrum of daily life, we so quickly forget how awesome, how great, how majestic our God is! Tell him anew what you know to be true of his character and works in your life.

“I will exalt you, my God the King; I will praise your name for ever and ever. Every day I will praise you and extol your name for ever and ever.” (Psalm 145:1-2) Read the rest of that Psalm and make it your personal prayer!

A third powerful means for getting out of the spiritual fog and darkness of despair is to spend time with a trusted friend or spiritual partner. When we’re hurting we often crawl into a hole and mope, which only worsens our condition! Force yourself to seek out someone who can pray with you and challenge you. Don’t be satisfied with a friend who adds to your gloom. Spend time with another follower of Christ who will lift you up.

The following Proverbs describe the kind of words you want others to speak into your life: “The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life. The lips of the righteous nourish many. The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom. The lips of the righteous know what is fitting. The tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Proverbs 10:11, 21, 31, 32; 12:18)

Meeting with Your Spiritual Partner

Rob — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 20:41:43 +0000

As I mentioned in The Quest, when I first began meeting with a spiritual partner neither of us had any idea what that would look like or how to proceed. Here’s what we did and what I’ve found to work well over the past seven years. And remember, men meet with men, women with women.

Begin by being very clear about why you’re partnering together. Verbalize with each other that you are establishing this relationship in order to “sharpen” each other (Proverbs 27:17) and “spur” each other in becoming more Christlike (Hebrews 10:24).

With the above in mind, agree to always be open and honest with each other. Be transparent with each other and trust each other in confidence that what you share will not go any further. Leave no area of your life untouched or hidden from each other. This is vital to your spiritual growth and is at the core of why we need spiritual partners.

In your initial meetings, just get to know each other. Share your life stories and practice good listening skills. Find out how your spiritual partner came to Christ; what his/her childhood was like; their career; relationships, etc. From the start always pray for each other. If your spiritual partner shares an immediate need, stop and pray for him/her on the spot.

As you continue to meet, be sure to spend time together in real life. Give each other permission to speak into one another’s lives and to ask tough questions. By tough questions, I mean questions like:

If you could pinpoint anything in your life right now that is stealing your joy in Christ what would it be?
What is God doing in your life right now?
What has God been revealing to you about him from his Word?
What habit, thought pattern or sin in your life is “eating your lunch?”
How’s your relationship with your spouse?
What can I pray with you about?

When you ask questions like that, be prepared to be shocked sometimes with what your spiritual partner will share—but don’t act shocked! Stand by him/her and pray with them. Always pray for each other!

Keep up with each other on what is going on in your various relationships and aspects of life. Always, pray with and for each other. Expect God to work in powerful ways in your lives and celebrate it when he does. And speaking of celebration, remember to celebrate what God is doing in each other’s lives as you trust him to change you.

Spiritual Partnerships—Growing in Christ

Rob — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 03:05:50 +0000

After cultivating numerous spiritual partnerships over a period of seven years, I still find it a struggle to develop a relationship with a new spiritual partner! And I know that I’m not alone in this. There are a number of reasons for this sense of awkwardness. One is that we rarely seem to pursue a relationship with someone intentionally. We often just let them happen serendipitously.

Another reason for this awkward feeling is that spiritual partners both know that they are stepping into a relationship in which mutual vulnerability and trust must reign. But left to themselves, relationships often require many years to reach that level of familiarity. Beginning a relationship with that understanding feels different—even scary!

Perhaps another reason that spiritual partnerships seem awkward at first is that we don’t rightly know how to proceed. So a spiritual partnership may feel contrived or staged in the beginning. In fact, I can almost guarantee that your initial meetings with your spiritual partner will feel awkward! So when you sense those feelings, just remember I told you it would be like that and press on. Soon you’ll forget you ever had such feelings.

Getting through that awkward stage and growing your relationship requires hard and deliberate work. As I mentioned in The Quest, we need to spend time together in real life. This means that we allow our spiritual partnerships to overlap into all other areas of our lives. This relieves much of that initial awkwardness.

We also must accept one another. Let me explain what this does and does not mean. Accepting one another does mean that we accept our differences in personality, ethnicity, taste, etc. We accept each other as Christ accepts us. We also recognize that neither of us is perfect. We’re both a work in progress. We have been transformed by Christ and he continues to transform us.

But accepting each other does not mean that we are satisfied to see each other continue in patterns of sin or poor choices. In fact, we care for each other so much that we cannot let each other off the hook over sin. Instead, we confront sin, we stand together, we battle sin, and we pray for each other.

“Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:1-2 NLT)

What Does Spiritual Partnership Look Like?

Rob — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 20:54:46 +0000

As a young man I was hired by a Christian group to evangelize the villages along the Oregon coast. I had renovated a 1958 VW van into a camper that served as my mobile office and home. The prospect of serving God in this pioneer way was appealing and adventurous to me. That is until I actually began doing it! What I quickly discovered was that doing ministry solo is unnatural and very, very lonely. Jesus sent his disciples out two-by-two. And as far as I can determine, the apostle Paul always had co-workers.

I mentioned in The Quest that I had recognized my need for spiritual partnership long before I knew what it meant to partner spiritually with someone. Like most of us, I had enjoyed friendships with other followers of Christ. In some of those relationships we even enjoyed a high level of transparency and vulnerability. But spiritual partners take that one step further.

You see, being vulnerable with someone does not necessarily prompt life change. We may even commiserate with each other that we have the same sinful habit, but don’t do anything about it. A true spiritual partner will challenge us to change. As spiritual partners we don’t allow each other to get away with sin, but we challenge each other to flee from it and trust Christ to transform us. We walk through the hard stuff of life together and celebrate each other’s victories.

When looking for a spiritual partner, ask God to lead you to someone who will propel you into deeper relationship with him. Proverbs 22:24 warns us, “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered.” Instead, pursue the kind of relationship revealed in Proverbs 27:17 NLT, “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”

Another key element of spiritual partnership is that it is gender-specific. Men need to meet with men and women with women. This is true both for the sake of decency and because of the way we’re wired. Over the years both men and women have told me they think it’s easier for the other gender to partner spiritually. From their input I’ve concluded that spiritual partnership is challenging whether we are male or female and requires the investment of time and hard work.

Generally I’d recommend that you meet with your spiritual partner weekly. Find a time that mutually suits both of you and meet regularly. I’ve met with a spiritual partner in my or his office, hiking, walking the neighborhood, at a coffee shop, or at each other’s homes. Some of my most meaningful times with a spiritual partner have I’ve experienced on a hike. Do what works best for you.

It’s also important to spend time together in real or everyday life. Let your spiritual partner observe you in a variety of circumstances. Life change should be an outcome of your relationship, but it’s not the goal. Resist the temptation to see him/her as a project for you to work on or a tool to deal with your issues. Your relationship with your spiritual partner is reason enough to meet.

Spiritual Partnerships

Rob — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 01:45:29 +0000

When I was twelve years old I went to camp for the first time. One of the highlights of camp for any twelve-year-old boy was swimming in the lake on a hot summer day. But the oversight of a couple hundred high-energy boys is a huge responsibility for the camp staff! They knew there were too many boys and too few staff to provide a safe swimming environment.

So, to make swimming safer they established the “buddy-system”. We were not allowed in the water without our buddy. And when the whistle blew we grabbed each other’s hand and raised our hands high to show that we had our buddy and that everyone was safe and accounted for.

Now one might argue, “That’s a great system for children, but it doesn’t work for adults in a world far more complex than a camp.” But look at what Paul writes to the church in Philippi, “Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel.” (Philippians 1:27 ESV)

According to that passage and many others like it, living a life of following Christ means camaraderie or spiritual partnership. Note the “team-words” Paul uses in that text. First, all the pronouns (you) are plural. Also, together, we are to “stand firm in one spirit.” And finally, “with one mind we are to strive side by side for the faith of the gospel.” That word strive is actually a sports term from which we derive our words gymnastics and gymnasium.

A number of years ago my wife and I visited the ancient ruins of Philippi. If you remember the account in Acts 16, Philippi is where Paul and Silas were publicly ridiculed, stripped and beaten (flogged). Then they were thrown into prison, placed in the inner cell with their feet in the stocks. We saw the solid rock prison cells, measuring only about four feet, by four feet, by four feet into which Paul and Silas were crammed.

In the midst of their suffering and pain, Paul and Silas prayed together and mustered the courage and strength to sing hymns together. I cannot make the claim that either of these two brave Christ-followers would not have prayed or sung hymns without the company and encouragement of the other. But the fact remains that together they prayed and sang in the face of severe persecution.

Who are you standing with? Who is standing with you? Who’s your buddy? Following Christ is not a solo endeavor. If you are not spiritually partnered with someone else, I strongly urge you to either find a spiritual partner or upgrade one of your current friendships to that of a spiritual partnership!