Our forgiveness, however, cannot be based on trust or on the likeliness that the offender will not hurt us again. Instead, our forgiveness must be based on the character and example of God Himself. In three primary passages of the Scripture on forgiveness, every one of them draws attention to God’s character and His example of forgiving us.

In the Lord’s prayer, Jesus modeled the phrase, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” After the prayer he commented on that phrase, “For if you forgive others when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:12, 14-15) Our heavenly Father is our example. He has graciously and mercifully forgiven us and asks us to do likewise. We are His children and He wants us to be like Him and act as He does.

A second passage that demonstrates the character of God in forgiveness is Matthew 18:21-35. Here Peter thought he was being generous in offering to forgive others up to seven times. Jesus responded, “No not seven times, but seventy times seven!” (Matthew 18:22 NLT) Then Jesus told Peter a parable about a servant who owed his master an incredibly large debt, so large he could never have possibly paid it back. But mercifully, his master forgave him his debt completely. This is what God is like toward us.

But the forgiven servant went out and found one of his peers who owed him about ten bucks and demanded payment. When his peer could not pay, this forgiven servant had him thrown into prison. When the servant’s master found out about his servant’s wicked actions, he had him jailed and tortured. At the end of the story, Jesus commented, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.” (Matthew 18:35)

Our heavenly Father is magnanimously generous with his forgiveness toward us—we, who owe him a debt we could never pay. Now he expects us to be generous with our forgiveness toward each other both because of and in demonstration of God’s great mercy toward us.

Finally, in Ephesians 4:32 we read, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Once again, God is our example of forgiveness. Just as in Christ He forgave us, so we should forgive each other. Paul concludes, “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children.” (Ephesians 5:1)

©2011 Rob Fischer

1. Recognize that marriage is hard work, so stick with it and give it your best efforts! When our kids were little we were having a discussion about marriage around the dinner table. Our older two children indicated that, yes, they wanted to get married some day. When we asked our youngest son (who was about six at the time) whether he would some day marry, he pondered that question thoughtfully and stated, “I don’t know if I’ll get married. Marriage is hard work! I think I’ll get a job instead.” Linda and I pray that it wasn’t our marriage that gave him the idea that marriage is so hard! Anyways, after the laughter subsided, we had to agree with our six-year-old psychiatrist—marriage is hard work! So roll up your sleeves and put into your marriage the work required to make it great!

2. Tell your spouse you love him/her often (multiple times every day). Guys, don’t give me any baloney like, “I don’t need to tell her I love her, she already knows it.” Tell your sweetheart you love her! She needs and wants to hear you say it.

3. Go out on dates regularly. Enjoy each other’s company. Hold hands, be romantic. Make your times together special. Don’t let anything get in the way. She/he is worth it!

4. Look for concrete ways to serve each other selflessly. One of the biggest reasons marriages get stale is because we become self-absorbed. The best way out that downward spiral is to serve your spouse lovingly, joyfully and selflessly. Do it!

5. Listen to each other attentively. Listen to each other actively: maintain eye contact, eliminate distractions, employ empathy and great non-verbals. Listen to her/him attentively and caringly. A tip for you husbands, your wife will often share problems with you that you can’t fix, so don’t try to fix them. Simply love her, reassure her, hold her and tell her things will be alright.

6. Pray with each other. Guys, take the lead on this. Look for and step into opportunities to pray with each other. In this way you’ll grow in your relationship with God together. Thank God for the wonderful gift of your wife in her hearing. Make most of these prayers short and sweet!

©2009 Rob Fischer

“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.” – Jim Elliot

Eric dedicated his life to becoming one of the greatest soloists the world had ever known. Already at the age of four, his mother started him on voice lessons having recognized his musical talent. It was tough times back then during the great depression and when Eric was just six, his father died leaving a widow with five young children. At this tender age, Eric began to work to help support the family.

He continued his voice lessons and sang in public performances in a variety of venues including recitals, school, church, community and private settings. World War II broke out during his senior year of high school. After graduation he enlisted and became a pilot in the Army Air Corps. Though the war interrupted his formal music training, he sang and entertained his fellow troops whenever he could find an audience.

Following the war, he enrolled in the Kansas City Conservatory of Music and completed his studies as a vocalist. While there, he founded and ran his own radio program in order to exercise and leverage his talents. By now, he was an accomplished baritone soloist, coached by one of the best voice trainers from Europe. Eric was told that such a voice as his came only once in a generation! In addition to his musical ability, Eric had a natural talent for acting and a great sense of humor.

With Eric’s list of talents and great potential, he was invited to New York City to become a protégé of composer Sigmund Romberg to get his start in “show-business.” Over the next five years, Eric experienced a wild ride up the ladder to stardom. He hobnobbed with stars like Robert Goulette, Jack Paar, and Audrey Hepburn. He was offered a contract with one of the Gabor sisters to perform a nightclub set throughout the country and he performed in the Metropolitan Opera with Jerome Hines.

His wife had been a great support to him and had sacrificed much to help him attain his goals. But one evening as Eric returned home from work to his wife and three little boys, she calmly explained to him that she could no longer endure living in New York. The high crime, rampant use of drugs, apprehension for the safety of their children and the culture itself were more than she could continue to bear.

Though it is uncertain, some believe that she had personally either been threatened or stalked as well. She also had serious concerns about the extent to which his career would take him away from the family and often into very worldly environments.

In fact, she had become so resolute about leaving New York, that she had asked her parents to wire her the money for a move. She explained to Eric in tears, that she needed to leave immediately. She had already packed their meager belongings.
 
That night, Eric was faced with a life-changing decision either to love, honor and cherish his wife and children, or continue to pursue his budding career. With little time for reflection, he chose his wife and children and never looked back. He simply saw this decision as a decision to follow Christ in being a godly husband and father – and that was a “no-brainer”. They packed their things into the car the same evening and left New York and his career as a world-class soloist.

What is most admirable about his decision is that Eric never, ever held his wife responsible for sacrificing his career. In fact, his sacrifice for his wife only served to increase her value to him and his love for her. Eric remained deeply in love with his wife until her death.

On the one hand, few of us are ever called upon to make a choice of the magnitude that Eric made. On the other hand, all of us face mini-choices every day between pursuing things that deter or distract from Christ and following him resolutely. Like Adam and Eve in the garden, we secretly mistrust God, suspecting that he is withholding something good from us. 

“Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?” Romans 8:32 
Written by Rob Fischer
© 2005 ChangePoint

This man had five children—four boys and a girl—all of whom are happily married and walking with Jesus because of their dad’s example. Additionally, this man left 21 grandchildren and 16 great-grandchildren, all of whom either know Jesus or are seeing their parents demonstrate how a Christ-follower lives. His kids and their spouses all love each other and enjoy spending time with each other—certainly a rare phenomenon today.

The man passionately loved people. In his eleven-year tenure as credit manager of a large metropolitan hospital, he led countless patients, their loved ones and co-workers to living faith in Jesus Christ. As an accomplished musician and entertainer, he offered free concerts annually to benefit the hospital.

Later in life, this man became a pastor in a very small rural town in Idaho (population 186). During the fourteen years he served there, he visited three nursing homes in the surrounding towns weekly. He sang, preached, visited with and prayed for the residents. His wife kept track of all those who gave their lives to Christ in those weekly visits—over 450 in fourteen years.

In that small town, he knew and visited every family. He also served that community as an emergency medical technician and volunteer fireman. Many in that town came to know Christ through this man’s life and witness.

One of the most remarkable characteristics of this man was his undying love for his wife. He loved her faithfully, tenderly and strongly until she passed away in 1991. Even before her death, he would longingly speak of Christ’s return. And now that his wife had gone home to be with the Lord, this man spoke with greater yearning to be with the Lord and be reunited with his wife. With this as his deep desire, it was fitting that he passed away on the 60th anniversary of the day that he and his wife had met. What a joyous reunion and homecoming that must have been with Jesus and his wife last Wednesday!

I want to live and love large as this man did, for he was my dad. Thank you, Dad, for being such a godly example to us kids! We love you and miss you!

Then one day, this young lady announced her engagement to another man and soon married. Steve was heart-broken over his loss, but even more difficult was his confusion and disappointment over God’s leading in his life. Did he or did he not hear God say, “Pursue this woman”? The outcome does not necessarily answer that question. And I could not tell Steve with certainty whether he had or had not heard God correctly or at all.
Steve was convinced God told him to pursue this woman and interpreted that to mean he would marry her. Could it be that Steve did in fact hear God correctly, but jumped to a false conclusion about the outcome? I looked for a precedence in the Bible in which God asked someone to do something that brought entirely different results than expected. Two such incidents came to mind immediately and I suspect there are others as well.

When God asked Abraham to offer Isaac as a burnt offering, he never intended for Abraham to actually slay his son. When the angel showed up to stop Abraham, how foolish it would have been if Abraham had said, “No, God told me to do this, so leave me alone so I can get on with killing my son!” (See Genesis 22.) Abraham did hear God correctly, but the outcome proved to be very different than what he expected!

In Judges 19 and 20 we find another example of God telling someone to do something that led to very different results than expected. Twice the Israelites asked God whether they should engage the Benjamites in battle and twice God clearly said, “Yes.” Yet both of these times the Benjamites totally whipped Israel. The Israelites had to be wondering, “did we hear wrong?” It is clear from the passage that God had a battle to win in their hearts before they could win the battle on the field. The third time they asked God, they did so in repentance, sorrow and fasting and then God gave them their desired result.

There’s a huge lesson for us in these examples. We often hear God’s voice in our lives and then follow him in obedience to his voice. But when things begin to go wrong we assume that we either misunderstood God, did not hear him at all, or that he is toying with us. Certainly it is okay to question, “Did I really hear God?” But we jump to those negative conclusions too quickly!

In Mark 4:35-41 there is a powerful story that illustrates this. In this passage Jesus says to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side [of the lake].” They all pile in the boat and take off for the other side. Jesus has been teaching the people all day, is tired and promptly falls asleep in the stern.

Out in the middle of the lake a terrific storm begins beating against their boat to the point that it’s filling with water and they fear for their lives. They wake Jesus and are upset with him for his lack of concern over their peril. At this, Jesus rebukes the wind and the waves and a dead calm ensues. He then chides his disciples for their lack of trust in God. Seeing Jesus’ power and authority to still the storm, his disciples are terrified at him and ask, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”

How does this story apply to us and hearing God’s voice and responding to it? God sometimes intentionally leads us into a “storm.” We must not lean too heavily on circumstances to determine whether we heard God rightly. Just because all is well does not mean we heard God clearly and are following him. (Jonah conveniently found passage on a boat heading in the opposite direction God wanted him to go!) And on the flip-side, when all seems to be falling apart we must not assume that this is an indication that we’re not following God’s leading.

Let’s look at another situation. We know of a woman who wants to divorce her husband. Although he has been a real jerk in the past, he has recently come to Christ and there is no Scriptural foundation for her divorcing him. She claims, “I have a tremendous sense of peace from God about divorcing my husband.”

Two things are going on here. One is that she is elevating her feelings above the authority of God’s Word in her life. There is a sense in which we must agree with her feelings. If she has been living with a verbally abusive husband all these years and now is separated from him, of course she is experiencing a new kind of “peace” in her life that she has not enjoyed for some time. The problem is in exchanging that temporary peace for the true peace that God can give when husband and wife love each other unconditionally and are walking in obedience to God.

The second thing that’s going on here is more subtle and very dangerous. When the serpent tempted Eve in the garden with fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, he prompted her to question the good intentions of God. “If God were truly good, why would he deny you this happiness?” As soon as she gave in to questioning God’s goodness and love, she stopped listening to God.

Then the Scripture reveals, “When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it.” (Genesis 3:6) Don’t miss what the text is saying here. Put into different words, “Eve became overwhelmed with a sense of peace in her life that eating this fruit was the good, pleasing and desirable thing to do.” Do you see how subtle and insidious this lie of the evil one is?

I think we must all honestly agree that sometimes hearing God’s voice is not all that difficult. It’s obeying him and following him that we really struggle with! What I have discovered in my own walk with Jesus is that when I am in the habit of listening to him and obeying him—no matter what, I increasingly find it easier to hear his voice and obey him. And conversely, if I stubbornly go my own way when I know I’ve heard from him, I shy away from listening to him and build a pattern of not obeying his voice. In that mode, it becomes more and more difficult to discern his voice and obey him.

There are also times when God clearly communicates with us, but we jump to the wrong conclusion about why he’s giving us that communication. We see such an example in Acts 21:10-14:

“After we had been there a number of days, a prophet named Agabus came down from Judea. Coming over to us, he took Paul’s belt, tied his own hands and feet with it and said, ‘The Holy Spirit says, “In this way the Jews of Jerusalem will bind the owner of this belt and will hand him over to the Gentiles.”‘

When we heard this, we and the people there pleaded with Paul not to go up to Jerusalem. Then Paul answered, ‘Why are you weeping and breaking my heart? I am ready not only to be bound, but also to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus.’ When he would not be dissuaded, we gave up and said, ‘The Lord’s will be done.’”

From this account, we might be prone to agree with the other Christians in Caesarea who took Agabus’ prophecy as a warning that Paul should NOT go to Jerusalem. Was Paul wrong? Did Agabus really get this message from the Holy Spirit? The Scripture says he did. But look back at Acts 20:22 where Paul a short time earlier addresses the elders of Ephesus:

“And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.”

Based on the account of the Scripture, I believe we can safely conclude that the Holy Spirit was indeed warning Paul about all he would suffer, not if, but when he got to Jerusalem. The clear intent of the Holy Spirit was not that Paul should avoid Jerusalem and these perils, but to assure Paul that God is sovereign and that all these trials would serve his greater plan and glory. Paul merely needed to trust and obey, but he certainly wouldn’t be surprised by what he would soon encounter.

When the Holy Spirit reveals this kind of information to us we must also be totally dependent on him for the wisdom to know what to do with it. Hearing God and knowing how to respond rightly to what he is saying flows from a life of abiding or remaining in him. I hope you’re not discouraged by that! As we spend time with him getting to know his character and ways better, he will also guide us in responding to him properly.

© Rob Fischer 2008

Have you ever marveled over the concept of voice recognition? Isn’t it amazing that we can hear a recording of Bob Hope, Bing Crosby or Danny Kaye and know it’s their voice we’re hearing? Any one of us could probably recognize scores if not hundreds of voices of celebrities. Jesus said, “My sheep know my voice and follow me” (John 10). But we recognize Jesus’ voice in a different way than we would recognize George Clooney’s or Harrison Ford’s.

How do we discern whether we are hearing from God or from someone or something else? As in the case with young Samuel, our ability to distinguish God’s voice from others’ voices comes largely through experience. We gain experience in our relationship with God over time in all of life. As we become more acquainted with God and his character through his Word and works in our lives and the lives of others we learn to recognize his voice and his activity in our lives.

A few years ago I was encouraging a man in his faith as a new follower of Christ. He and I were hiking when he confided in me that he often heard thoughts in his head that spoke things like, “You’re not worthy to be a child of God. I can’t believe you blew it again, you’re such a loser! God is not pleased with you!” I stopped in my tracks and looked back squarely into my friends eyes and said, “Those comments are NOT from God, but from the evil one! Don’t listen to them for a moment!”
 
How could I say that with conviction and honesty? Because I know what God has stated in his Word about his love relationship toward us. Through his Word and years of walking with him I also know his character. I know that God does not say things like that to his children. So I reminded and encouraged my friend from Scripture of the truth about how God really feels about us. My friend found great comfort from these words and grew in his recognition of God’s voice and character.

God never ever contradicts himself. If he has stated something clearly in his Word, he won’t speak to us in some other way and contradict himself. When someone claims that God told them to do something that clearly disagrees with God’s Word, we know they have not heard from God in that instance. Usually matters of this nature are obvious. For instance, when I was in the Army a group of so-called Christians refused to get their hair cut according to Army regulations. They claimed that God had told them not to. And when they received disciplinary action for their rebellion, they boasted how they were suffering for Jesus! Were these young men hearing from God or clearly rebelling against God’s Word?

What does the Scripture say? “Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.” (Romans 13:1-2) These young men were not hearing from God on the issue of disobeying their military leaders.

However, there are times when either Scripture is not clear, or we do not perceive it as clear. In such cases, we must reflect on the character of God. A few years ago I was counseling a couple who was on the verge of divorce. He had been a controlling, verbally abusive husband. His wife decided she had had enough and wanted out of their 30-year marriage. Both professed knowing Christ.

Initially the husband wouldn’t own up to his failures, but eventually he came around and genuinely began letting Christ change him. But his wife would not forgive him. At first she attempted to justify her desire for divorce by hiding behind the confusion that we have imposed on Scripture around the issue of divorce. She claimed she felt great peace from God about her decision.

Finally, I appealed to her based on the character of God. I asked her, “Knowing what you know of God and his character—that he is loving, forgiving and merciful—what do you think he would have you do in this situation with your husband?” She responded, “I don’t care! I’m going to divorce him anyway.” I tell this story because perhaps all of us at one time or another either have or will use the Scriptures dishonestly for our own purposes. We are not listening to the voice of God when we do that.

Remember what Jesus said to the teachers of the Law in John 5? He acknowledged that they diligently studied the Scriptures (God’s Word). And yet he said of them, “You have never heard his voice” (John 5:37-39). It is almost as though we play a childish game with God’s Word sometimes, trying to “catch” God in his words and hold him to something that he doesn’t say in order to satisfy our own desires.
 
Another common situation in which the Scripture may not offer a clear word is in personal situations and about unique topics. The Bible is truly a remarkable book and true about everything it claims. However, the Bible does not speak about all issues. For example, the Word of God provides us with general guidelines about the character of the spouse we should choose, but it does not tell us whom to marry. So we must follow God’s Word (God’s Word “is a lamp to our feet”—Psalm 119:105) as far as it will take us and rely on his Spirit to guide us in the particulars.

© Rob Fischer 2008

• “Am I on track with God in my finances?  What does he want or expect of me in this regard?”
• “How do I determine my financial health?  And how do I improve it?”
• “How do I get out of and stay out of debt?”
• “How do I know how much to give to God?”
• “Why is it we never seem to have enough money to make it until the next paycheck?”
• “I make enough money and have money to spare, but I sense there is more God wants me to do and that it has to do with my finances.”

These are all important issues that you will work through in Uncommon Cents.  But we believe your experience in Uncommon Cents will yield far more than helpful financial advice, tools and skills.  For you are about to embark on an adventure with God!

God makes a clear distinction between what is holy and what is common (Leviticus 10:10).  As his children, he calls us to a holy or uncommon lifestyle.  “As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance.  But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do.”  (1 Peter 1:14-15)  The principles you will read about on the pages that follow are uncommon.  That is, they do not follow the common patterns of thought or practice that our world or culture pursues.

Much of what is common in our culture is so deeply rooted in our lives, that it takes some pretty radical life change to expose it and dig it out.  That kind of life change is something only God can perform.  In Uncommon Cents, you will have the opportunity to draw close to God through a wide variety of activities and life challenge projects.  These are designed to propel you forward in your walk with Christ.  And as you draw near to him, you will not be able to remain unchanged.  He will expose the common in your life and give you the opportunity to replace it with what is uncommon and holy.

We challenge you to prepare your heart to meet with God as you pursue him through Uncommon Cents.  Expect and watch for him to work in your life.  Trust him in ways you’ve been afraid to in the past.  Ask him for his help and provision in your daily life and finances.  If you are married, enter into this adventure with your spouse as a team.  Also, partner with your small group and watch God work in each other’s lives.  He will, because that’s what he does!

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